Note: The below account of the bowls
evening is by Path Rasan. The report sometime uses elasticated facts.
EASCOTE
CC INDOOR BOWLS REPORT: WEEK 1 OF 7
The Eastcote CC Indoor Bowls tournament got off to an
eventful start last Friday. The next exciting round is on this Friday the 25th
of January at 8pm. You are invited to join in the fun. If you would like to
play, you could approach the respective captains if you know them or
alternatively contact Path on rasan@pobox.com.
A desire to have a go trumps any previous experience or skill.
TEAM PREVIEW AND NEWS
Carpet Burners: The Eastcote Indoor
Bowls Tournament got off to an inauspicious start as word came through late in
the day from Captain Natalie that Carpet Burner’s key player Max Walker had
been taken ill with something he had picked up in Amsterdam. Usually, things you
pick up in Amsterdam will clear up in a few weeks following a dose of
penicillin in the buttocks. Unfortunately for Max and Carpet Burners his
condition turned out to be bit too trivial. Had the condition been sufficiently
life threatening, armed with a medical certificate, Carpet Burners could have
had a shot at sharing the points. As it turned out their opponents, Few Good
Men, receive full points for the walk-over. This incident illustrates the
virtues of maintaining a bigger squad.
Eastcote Pride: After running one of
the most successful bowls teams in the tournament from inception, Captain
Clouting has taken a sabbatical this year. One of the main reasons was illness
to his iconic on-field captain Lee Hutton – easily one the best players in the
league, he possesses undoubted tenacity and fighting spirit. And here is
wishing that Lee bounces back to his inimitable self soon. Captain Clouting and
his Eastcote Pride have contributed immensely to the long running tournament
and it is hoped that they will return in style.
Bowling Stones: This is a new team
lead by Captain William Bramble. He has the spiel of Mother Theresa but the
ambitions of William the Conqueror. It appears Captain Bramble’s short, medium
and long-term plans are to win the Mark Fielding Eastcote Indoor Bowls trophy.
Few Good Men: Controversy reigned
in a real-life tug of war involving love-child Marc Broom better known as
Shabaaah!! in Bowling circles. Marc, one of the best players in the league, has
played for Few Good Men as man and boy and later man again. But for this
evening only, he had signed up to play for Bowling Stones without the prior
knowledge of Captain Wallis of Few Good Men! The sight of Marc preparing to
bowl for another team made Captain Wallis see red. It might have even been
purple. Losing all control of his bodily and emotional functions Captain Wallis
ran onto the hallowed bowls carpet disrupting the game to the gasps of the
non-fee-paying bowls spectators. To find a precedence of this magnitude of
sporting disruption one would need to go as far back as 1982 when Erica Rowe
ran across Twikenham minus her 34FF.
Pig Swill & Trotters: Feeling that their
name was too controversial the team has now changed it to a more mundane
Brexiteers. It is worth noting it is not the calm and gentle Brexiters but the
more buccaneering Brexiteers.
WrongUns: After many years of
sterling captaincy, Captain Mans has given way to a new captain. Step forward
Captain Harding, a man with a dry sense of humour, so dry that he dishes it out
in powder form.
News is now beginning to filter through that Captain
Harding’s key player Sam Moody had been approached over the winter to captain a
rival team! Sam’s response had been emphatic. He had written “No chance. I will
be a WrongUn until the day I die!” No doubt Captain Harding will be
heartened to hear this although he must wonder, given Sam’s chosen lifestyle,
for exactly how long he is committing.
Undate-a-Bowls: One of the loudest
cheers of the evening was when Captain Bowers made spectacular throw to win a
point. Undate-a-Bowls lost 1-7.
Mixed Bag: Defending champions
Mixed Bag set about the tasks as they usually do – without any fanfare, winning
their match comfortably.
Angry Birds: Captain Tracey’s
Angry Birds made a promising start but were not able to get the better of
defending champions, Mixed Bag. Angry Birds looked happy at the start of the
match, during the match and despite defeat, at the end of match. They may want
to reconsider their name.
The Stunts: Following an
excellent stint as captain, Captain Dunn has stepped down to be replaced by
Captain Roan. Over the years Captain James Roan had been known as Roany, Pepper
Roany and finally the club has settled on Pepper as his primary name. Eastcote
CC is not short of wordsmiths.
As for the match, they came, they played, they
conquered.
Loose Women: Captain Louise’s Loose
Women have much to play for this season. In Denise, Janet and Ele they have
real core strength. Last year they demonstrated that they can take on the best
and win. However, today WrongUns were too strong for them.
RESULTS
WrongUns vs Loose Women 7-4
WrongUns:
Captain Adam Harding, James Mans, Sam Moody and Danny Mac
Bowling
Stones: Captain William Bramble, Jason Travers, Hirani
Angry
Birds vs Mixed Bag 4-7
Angry
Birds: Captain Tracey, Zara, Courtney, Corrine and Louise
Mixed
Bag: Captain Steve Chandler, Mike Chandler, Chris Thom and John Ayres
Undate-a-Bowls vs Mixed Bag 7-1
Undate-a-Bowls:
Captain David Bowers, Scott , John Harry and Deborah-Ann
Stunts:
Captain James Roan, Stanley, Matt Savage, Danny Skilton and Sumo
Few Good Men vs Carpet Burners 7-0
Few Good
Men: Captain Clive Wallis, Zac Wallis,
Carpet
Burners: Captain Natalie, Max Walker, David Wakefield and Vic
Brexiteers
vs Loose Women 7-4
Brexiteers: Captain Geoff Eastwell, Martin Barry, Dave Williams, Steve
Eastwell and David Kemp, Steve Garner and Paulo Gernova
Loose
Women: Captain Louise Hobday, Janet Thom, Ele Broom, and Denise Broom